It’s now The Month That I Leave. I leave in 16 sleeps. It’s 2 weeks and 2 days before I go. I am now officially counting down the days.
I feel ready most of the time. Every so often I absolutely freak out, but mostly in a excitement. I haven’t had an “Oh God, help me! What have I done?!” moment yet (I’m sure it will come though!). But generally, I feel ready and willing to get my life shaken up in all sorts of ways.
For those of you not in the know (I don’t know how- I am literally the worst and will not slipping it into conversation) I’m about to embark on the gap year I never had- I’m going to Thailand to volunteer with Burmese refugees. I’ll be living in Chiang Mai for 6 month, working with the Thai Freedom House as a teacher and in their office. After this experience, I’ll be travelling to Myanmar, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam and Singapore. I fly back into Australia on the 28th of March next year, into Darwin, before flying to Brisbane and then (depending on circumstances!) road tripping back to Melbourne.
I’m going to be doing it solo- meeting people as I go and finding new things out- about myself, about my world, about this life.
And I cannot wait.
I’ve always loved- LOVED- Thailand- its culture, its people, its vibe. When I was 10, I went on a 5-6 week holiday to visit my uncle who, at the time, lived and worked in Thailand. It wasn’t the typical holiday you imagine when a 10 year old says they went to Thailand. My parents took me everywhere- we went up north, out to the River Kwai, down south to Phuket (of course)- taking our time on the way to each destination. Yes, it was a package tour- it made sense for us- but it wasn’t entirely sanistised. I wasn’t in a resort enclave the entire trip. I was exposed to real poverty. I was exposed to the sex tourism industry. While I didn’t totally understand, I knew that what I was seeing was wrong and that sparked a life long (thus far) passion for the marginalised and voiceless.
And ever since, I’ve wanted to go back and do something on the ground.
When I decided to just DO this thing I’d be dreaming of forever, I started researching different options for volunteering. There was a lot of voluntourism options where it seemed like the focus was on getting through the hour or two you were with the kids so you could go travelling/drinking. Or, they were 1-2 week stop overs where you ticked the “good person” box and got the necessary Insta pics with the adorable children.
Neither of these options appealed to me for a variety of reasons and please understand that I’m not passing judgment on either of those options, they just weren’t for me. I didn’t want something short term or easy to get. I wanted a vigorous screening and approval process. I wanted a program where I was working and helping an existing organisation who would appreciate my help and where my help would last beyond my time there. I wanted my help not to be a hindrance.
Thai Freedom House seemed to provide all of these things. Their program looks vigorous. I look like I’ll be actually helpful. I think I’ll provide skills that they can use! I think my own skills will be nurtured and grown.
I’ll be thrust out of my comfort zone in very real ways and Thai Freedom House also gives great support to their volunteers.
I know my money will go toward incredible work and not to advertising and brochures.
In 2015 I had a quarter life crisis, 1 year early, and I felt like I had stagnated. So much had changed in my passions and life since school and yet I was still there. In a different role, yes but still.
I decided to look for a new church at the same time.
A lot of my friends were getting married which not only increased the feeling of stagnation in my perpetually single life but also made me feel a little isolated because my own stupid brain told me they didn’t need me anymore- and that was purely me.
I started a uni course in desperation and unenrolled just as quickly as I enrolled when I realised I was running and not trusting God.
Then I decided that it made sense to finish another year at school- but in a slightly smaller role to allow myself to rest a bit more and not fall into my highly perfectionist trap I laid for myself- and then move on from my perfectly controlled life and give it to God. And what better way to do that than to go and live and work O/S- in a non English speaking, developing nation.
I didn’t have any obligations, no boyfriend, no debts, no loose ends… just an open door and a God who was whispering that He had me and I just needed to let Him take the lead.
And so I saved like a monster. Gave my notice at work. Started the process of applying for TFH and now it’s here.
And I’m ready, most of the time.
If you’d like to follow my adventures and learning experiences please keep an eye on Facebook and this blog. I’ll be posting life updates, work specific stuff, fitness posts, faith posts, personal posts and travel posts.
I look forward to going on this journey together.
Please pray for me, if you’re the praying type. I’ll need strength, the ability to rest, friends, an escape from my obsessions with exercise and food which occasionally rear their ugly heads and help to stay focused on the one constant- my faith.
Come with me, it’ll be one hell of a (non- elephant) ride.